920805   DEFMTHA.CVP
 
                  The myths just keep coming ...
 
I'm not going to name the product, but you've all likely seen the
ads.  Nine computer screens in a square across the top of the page,
each supposedly representing a different virus, with a little
cutline describing the effects of each.  In such a short space, how
do they get so much wrong?
 
"Friday the 13th Virus.  Alias 'Black Friday.'  Erases programs when
you try to run them."
 
Has anybody got a version that actually displays the text (as the ad
shows?)  Does it really display in a different font and size?  Does
anyone not know the description of the "Jerusalem" virus?  And how
about amending it to "erases *infected* programs when you try to run
them *on Friday the 13th*".
 
"Stoned Virus.  Alias Hawaii.  Data loss caused by damage to
directory and FAT."
 
Well, at least they got the name right.  (The first one, anyway. 
Hawaii?)  Of course, *I* may have the wrong virus.  I've never seen
"LEGALIZE MARIJUANA" display.  In fact, I've never seen anything
display after the C: prompt.
 
"Datacrime Virus.  Adds garbage to files and reformats disk."
 
I suppose you *could* say that the Datacrime virus is, itself,
garbage ...
 
"Ping Pong Virus.  Alias 'Bouncing Ball'.  Wipes characters off the
screen."
 
There are, of course, a lot of variants, but I didn't think the
original worked quite so well as a screen saver.  And the "ball" is
a lot smaller ...
 
"Falling Letters Virus.  Characters fall to the bottom of the
monitor.  Creative, but a real nuisance."
 
So is this ad.  ASCII characters do fall *towards* the bottom of the
screen, but they won't make it if anything is in the way.  And they
don't leave trails.
 
Admittedly, this was produced by the marketing department.  But do
you want to entrust the safety of your computer to people who get
five out of eight wrong?
 
copyright Robert M. Slade, 1992   920805   DEFMTHA.CVP

==============                      
Vancouver      ROBERTS@decus.ca    | "I finally realized why Windows is truly
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