========================================================
CYBERMOUSE JOKE SQUAD JOKEBOOK... CHRISTMAS AT MARTHA'S 
========================================================


*Christmas At Martha's*

Dear Friend

This perfectly delightful note is being sent in paper I made myself to
tell you what I have been up to.  Since it snowed last night, I got up
early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun.  I hand-painted
it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in peach and
mauve's.  Then to make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull
it from DNA that I just had sitting around in my craft room.

By then, it was time to start making the place mats and napkins for my
20 breakfast guests.  I'm serving the old standard Stewart twelve-course
breakfast, but I'll let you in on a little secret: I didn't have time to
make the table and chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on
hand.

Before I moved the table into the dining room, I decided to add just a
touch of the holidays.  So, I repainted the room in pinks and stenciled
gold stars on the ceiling.  Then, while the homemade bread was rising, I
took antique candle molds and made the dishes (exactly the same shade of
pink) to use for breakfast.  These were made from Hungarian clay, which
you can get in almost any neighborhood Hungarian craft store.

Well, I must run.  I need to finish the buttonholes on the dress I'm
wearing for breakfast.  I'll get out the sled and drive this note to the
post office as soon as the glue dries on the envelope I'll be making.
Hope my breakfast guests don't stay too long.  I have 40,000 cranberries
to string with bay leaves before my speaking engagement at noon.  It's a
good thing.

Your Friend, Martha Stewart

P.S.  When I made the ribbon for this typewriter, I used 1/8-inch gold
gauze.  I soaked the gauze in a mixture of white grapes and blackberries
which I grew, picked and crushed last week just for fun.

.............................................................


========================================================

Please feel free to share Cybermouse Joke Squad jokes. Cybermouse claims
no ownership or authorship of the materials presented here. They have been
scrounged and shared anony-mousely.. authorship is noted where known.

+++++++++++++++++++++++30++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
=====================2004==============================