CYBERMOUSE JOKE SQUAD JOKEBOOK.... HIM AND HER
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 the 5 toughest questions for men 

Thanks Karen

The Five Toughest Questions For Men

# 1:  What are you thinking about?

The best answer to this is:

"I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear.  I was just reflecting on what a
warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how
lucky I am to have met you."

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which is,
most likely, one of the following:

a. Baseball.

b. Football.

c. How fat you are.

d. How much prettier she is than you.

e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

(Perhaps the best classic response to this question was offered by Al
Bundy, who once told Peg:  "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I
would be talking to you!")
..................

Question # 2:  Do you love me?

The proper response is: "YES!"

If you feel a more detailed answer is in  order: "Yes, dear."

Inappropriate responses include:

a. Yah, sure, you betcha.

b. Would it make you feel better if I said "yes"?

c. That depends on exactly what you mean by love.

d. Does it matter?

e. Who, me?
.................


Question # 3:  Do I look  fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic:  "Of  course not!"

Among the incorrect answers are:

a. Compared to what?

b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.

c. A little extra weight looks good on you.

d. I've seen fatter.

e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would
spend the insurance money if you died.
.....................


Question # 4:  Do you think she's  prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is an  emphatic:  "Of course not!"

Incorrect responses include:

a. Yes, but you have a better personality

b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner

c. Not as pretty as you, when you were her age

d. It depends on how you define pretty.

e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would
spend the insurance money if you died.
.....................


Question# 5:  What would you do if I died?

This is the all-time, no-win question.

(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a  Corvette.")

There is no good answer.

No matter how you answer, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up
questions, usually along the these lines:

Woman:  Would you get married again?

Man:  Definitely not!

Woman:  Why not?  Don't you like being married?

Man:  Of course I do.

Woman:  Then why wouldn't you remarry?

Man:  Okay, I'd get married again.

Woman: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)

Man:  Yes, I would.

Woman:  (After a long pause) Would you sleep with her in our bed?

Man:  Where else would we sleep?

Woman:  Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of
her?

Man:  That would seem like the proper thing to do.

Woman::  And would you let her use my golf clubs?

Man:  She can't use them; she's left-handed.


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Subject: Hum: The Tent 

thanks Budd  From: KS

John woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned over to his wife's
side of the bed, His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she
was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might
spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into he room and
asked him to take this note to your beautiful Mommy."

The note read, "The Tent Pole Is Up, The Canvas Is Spread, The Hell With
Breakfast, Come Back To Bed."

Heather, grinning, answered the note and then asked her son to take this
to your silly Daddy.

Her note read, "Take The Tent Pole Down, Put The Canvas Away, The Monkey
had A Hemorrhage, No Circus Today."

John read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then, he asked his son
to take it back to "the lady in the kitchen."

His note read, "The Tent Pole's Still Up, And The Canvas Still Spread, So
Drop What You're Doing, And Come Give Me Some Head."

Laughing, Heather answered the note and then asked her son to take this to
the poor dude upstairs."

Her note read, 'I'm Sure That Your Pole's The Best In The Land
But I'm Busy Right Now, Do It By Hand!"


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