CYBERMOUSE JOKE SQUAD JOKEBOOK.... STUDENTS ============================================= thanks Brent *Kid's View of Science* Q: What is one horsepower? A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. - You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind. - When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions. - When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting. - While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating. - Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime. - A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go. - Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil. - Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there. - Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers. - We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on. - I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing. - Rain is saved up in cloud banks. - Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man. - Thunder is a rich source of loudness. - Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound. - It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live other places. ................................. A man was telling his friend about his upstairs neighbors. "They started to jump up and down on the floor at five o'clock in the morning!" His friend asked, "well, didn't that disturb you? Didn't you complain? "No-it didn't disturb me. I was practicing my trumpet." ...................................... At the end of last semester, a fellow student complained about how he failed the English course. The teacher invited him to write a formal letter of complaint to the principal. I glanced at his letter to see how it was going. His first sentence read, "Dear Principle, it is infair and unposible that I faled english." ........................................... Some teachers at state universities get to know our students fairly well. One instructor told his communications class of his plans to propose marriage. A student spoke up and said that he had recently asked his girlfriend to marry him as well. "What was her answer?" the instructor asked. "I don't know," the student replied. "She hasn't e-mailed me back yet." ---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------- Please feel free to share Cybermouse Joke Squad jokes. Cybermouse claims no ownership or authorship of the materials presented here. They have been scrounged and shared anony-mousely.. authorship is noted where known. --------------------------30-------------------------